Confidence and self-esteem refer to the beliefs you have about yourself, how you believe other people perceive you, your abilities, the positive and negative things about you, how you interpret the past, and what you anticipate for your future.
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore— And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?
[LANGSTON HUGHES]
Building Self-Esteem & Confidence
With Dr Comfort Shields | Clinical Psychologist & Depth Psychotherapist
A healthy sense of self-esteem is not something we are simply born with—it is shaped over time, often in the context of our earliest relationships and the stories we have been told about ourselves. When our self-worth has been undermined, whether by criticism, neglect, trauma, or the subtle pressures of comparison, it can quietly affect every aspect of life: our relationships, ambitions, boundaries, and even our ability to imagine a different future.
In my practice, I work with individuals who find themselves questioning their value, feeling “not enough,” or struggling to trust their own voice. You may notice that you hold yourself back, second-guess your choices, or feel undeserving of love, success, or belonging. These patterns are rarely the result of personal failure—they are often the natural result of painful experiences and internalised messages from the past.
Therapy for low self-esteem is not about empty encouragement or simply “thinking positive.” It is a process of gentle exploration:
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Understanding the origins of your self-doubt and shame, including how early relationships and past experiences have shaped your sense of self
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Naming and challenging old narratives that no longer serve you
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Discovering your strengths and what gives your life meaning
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Setting personal goals that reflect your own values, rather than the expectations of others
My approach is rooted in empathy, respect, and a belief in each person’s potential to grow and change. I offer a space where you are met without judgment—a space where every part of you is welcome, including your doubts and fears. Together, we will work to untangle the roots of low self-esteem and help you develop a more compassionate, confident relationship with yourself.
If you are curious about what it might be like to feel more secure in who you are, to speak more kindly to yourself, and to move through the world with greater ease, I invite you to reach out. You are not alone in this struggle, and change is possible—often in ways that are deeper and more lasting than you might imagine.
Dr. Viktor Frankl, a holocaust concentration camp survivor, has written about the way that human beings—despite the most harrowing conditions— are able to form choices and have freedom, whether psychological or physical. Therefore, even when faced with terrible obstacles and limitations, people are able to find meaning and with meaning comes confidence and freedom.
The following video of JK Rowling’s Harvard commencement speech has been inspiring to many people who have faced doubts about their sense of worth. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure in one’s life. She discussed how her exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, she was jobless, a lone parent, and “as poor as it is possible to be in modern British, without being homeless.” All of those struggles had directed her to realise her biggest fear, and they also led her to find out what mattered most to her. She says, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case, you fail by default.
Contact me today to arrange a confidential consultation.
ULTIMATELY, MAN SHOULD NOT ASK WHAT THE MEANING OF HIS LIFE IS, BUT RATHER HE MUST RECOGNIZE THAT IT IS HE WHO IS ASKED.
[VIKTOR FRANKL]
